28th
You’re not real to me
My first outdoor ride yesterday!
I have been salivating for 2 weeks excited to finally get my new cervelo on the road.
We planned for a 97 km route from Kipling to Inglewood, and put out a ride invitation to both our national riders and other friends and it ended up being Eric and I. Which was good because when I went to take my bike out in the morning, the back wheel was out of alignment and I had to take it into Wheels of Bloor (which I recommend!).
I laughed to myself as I remembered when I tumbled to the right on my stationary trainer at the London Sears store a couple of weeks ago and thought that could be the reason my wheel was out of alignment.
Soon after we started the ride, I was officially in bike ectasy. My whole body goes calm when I hear the turn over swoosh of my tires, and it’s always enhanced when the swoosh is in front and back of me. Calmness set in, and it’s my time to think, or not. Although I love looking at my cervelo, I couldn’t have imagined how good it would feel. Wow, I felt like I was gliding, doing half the work that I was on my bike before. And then I remembered, ah yes, I have been training for months for this, and yes, the training has paid off. What a relief to know that all of the knife stabbing burning sensations during repetitive squats and lunges were working!
My co-pilot Eric and I have joined forces to support each other in the journey, and do some of the fundraising together. As we made our way up to Inglewood, we stopped for lunch at the Brampton flying school, and I had a steak sandwich. I had to stay true to my Steak Monster name! I thought back to my breakfast - Steal cut oats with the usual - different fruits, medjool dates, chai seeds, pumpkin seeds, salba, rice milk; a smoothie, bagel and almond butter, two sausages. And yet, a few hours later, the steak monster needs the next hit. I laugh to myself as I think about the cooler or boxes of stuff that I’m going to need to negotiate with the Coast to Coast folks to meet my dietary needs.
The first part of the ride, I remembered why I was doing this - I am in love with riding. That may seem obvious to you, and yet, every day is filled with workouts, strength training and stationary trainers, and yes calls and follow up calls for fundraising, and it’s easy forget the feeling I get when I’m riding outside.
The wind on the way back was intense and I started to think about some of the winds we’ll have on the ride. Ah yes, the prairies. I remember that Robert W, a friend who did the ride last year, told me that the prairies were the toughest part. When he told me that, I thought, I cannot imagine that when it’s all flat. After the rockies, I could imagine appreciating the flat road. Amidst the wind, I thought, ah yes, 4 days of this could be interesting.
The reality of what we’re doing sinks in further. We’re riding across the country. I talk about it every day, envision it every day. But real, not yet. I’m not sure it will be until we all gather in Vancouver in Sept.
This morning I woke up and felt like I had been in the desert. My face felt like rubber. Ah, yes, wind burn, hello!! Welcome wind burn. My top lip was vibrating and my face felt puffy and red. Sunscreen, right, forgot about that. My mouth was so dry I could hardly open it. Gotta love the recovery.
We spent 5 hours at Sears Yorkdale today. When I think of Yorkdale, I think of a full parking lot, relatively high end stores, tons of people, and lots of well off people. The first couple of hours were, hmmm, how shall I saw it, grueling. We discussed different ways to word our ask. Spare change for kids living with cancer? Spare a looney for kids living with cancer? I felt like I was asking people to give their life away.
Avoid eye contact, detour route.
I looked back on our experience in Sears Masonville in London a couple of weekends ago and the stunning response we got there. Mind you, Ryan and I are both from London so our families were all there to collect donations, and we had people we knew drop by so there was a real feeling of community.
Today, we figured in those first couple of hours that 10% of people donated. And we’re talking mostly loonies and toonies.
I began talking to a woman who was standing still, which was unusual, and started to share my speel….
The four of us are riding coast to coast for kids living with cancer.
100% of the proceeds go toward the cause.
The money goes to 17 oncology centres in Canada.
She looked at me perplexed.
I said, we’re looking for change to help us meet our goal of 3 million dollars.
She looked at me, eyebrows raised, mouth turned down,
“You’re going to raise $3 million from small change????”
I replied, Yes, it’s one of the many events that we do.
With that, she walked off.
I bit my tongue from replying with a few choice words.
I took a step back and sat down.
I watched the video from last year, which I had not seen.
I listened to Marissa talk. She was 15, battling cancer since she was 8. She talked about how her life wasn’t normal like other kids her age; how she wanted to get a job and be employed; how she wasn’t going to give up hope. My throat swelled. This is why we’re doing this. She reminded me of Jenny. Beautiful, robbed of her life. The chemo making her face puffy. Jenny died when she was 15 too. Marissa’s battle is over, as are the battles of many other kids that don’t make it. And I’m struck with the irony of our culture. We’re wandering around one of the more affluent malls, Yorkdale, no one has time, we’re an intrusion on people’s personal lives, and Marissa, and other children that are battling cancer are not real to someone who is coming out of Crate and Barrel.
We figured it out. If each person that we met today gave us a loonie, we would have raised a minimum of $1,000. We were nowhere near that.
Then I reflected on my interactions with people who are homeless. My wrestle with it. I’ve known for 2 decades that we can end world poverty at any time we wish. If each person donated $1/day, it would be over. But we can’t do it. Oh, yes, we have lots of good reasons. We don’t know where the money goes, the admin costs, I get all that.
The same reasons we found today. Until you’re personally affected, it’s always someone else. Until it’s not. And then, It’s real to us.
Marissa’s life is over. And that’s real for her parents, her family, friends, and community. It’s real for this new SNKCR community I’ve entered. I know that the lives of many other children will become more real to me as we ride through communities across Canada and meet them and hear their stories.
